Unless you're a teacher enjoying a bloody well earnt break, school holidays suck.
They suck even for those without school-aged kids, who take on extra duties while their colleagues take leave to look after their kids during the holidays.
It especially sucks for the parents themselves. Or, rather, the mothers. Because it's usually the mother who is expected to take her valuable annual leave over school holidays, to enjoy spending every freaking moment with her offspring.
Every. Freaking. Moment.
It makes me weep. Seriously, today I wept a little bit. It was right when the twins were eating playdoh, and Miss5 was eating lip gloss.
I was quite sure they were all going to require individual calls to the Poisons Information Line, on their ingested poison of choice.
This was directly following the lurvely wall mural they crafted while I was in the loo. With permanent marker.
It is day bloody TWO of school holidays. How in the hell am I supposed to survive two whole weeks of this stuff?
I even let them loose in the cold, damp sandpit as a last resort. I figured that, should they get colds, I could at least dull their senses/fighting spirit with medication.
What? I never professed to being a good parent.
Yesterday, the twins went to daycare. God I love Monday's. Even more so now that Daycare got a coffee machine. For $2 I can grab a flat white as I make a mad dash for freedom and the exit, before the twins realised I've unceremoniously dumped them at daycare again.
So while they were at daycare yesterday, Miss5 and I ran errands. Fruit of my loins, she is a born shopper - so even the mundane grocery shopping gets her tick of approval.
We hit The Galleria with gusto. We walked the whole mega shopping complex. And it was only after 4hrs of this, that I realise she had her jeans on backwards, and was sporting an inappropriate amount of stomach, and butt-crack.
Again...what? I never professed to being a good parent.
So today - day TWO of school holidays - I had to pull out my emergency supplies : Kinder Egg's and fresh, shiny, new, debris-free playdoh.
The stuff that was intended only for emergencies. The stuff that was supposed to last the full two WEEKS of school holidays, not just two DAYS.
I am screwed.
Or, at the very least, vodka.