* When people recite their mobile numbers starting with a block of three numbers instead of four ie 041 355 555 5. Has the ‘official’ style of writing and saying these 10-digit numbers changed?
* Cars with number plates that say Kerrys, or Als or Heathaz et al. So, you have a car, congratulations!
* Erectile dysfunction radio ads featuring a female voiceover pressuring men to take action because they are causing the ‘mrs’ to miss out!
* When I mistakenly send a work email to a person I don’t work with.
* Chemical breath - smokers who pretend they don’t smoke, but we all know they do.
* Telstra. The service (or lack of), the charges, the whole vibe, really….
* Flickering fluoro lights.
* Those horrible testicles that hang from the towbar of some men’s vehicles. Confirmation they consider their mode of transport an actual substitute for their actual penis.
* Smutty US TV sitcoms whose only plot is sex, sex and more sex, despite the 7pm timeslot.
* TV ads that appear to educate motorists about drink driving but actually promote binge drinking, because we ‘deserve it’.
* Lone shoes on the side of the road. And the matching shoe 1km further on. And those that hang from powerlines, and trees.
* Arctic cardigan-inspired airconditioning on a 35 degree day.
* The offer of another 2cents per litre off my fuel if I spend another $2 in store.
* Floury apples.
* Chinese-grown apples and snow peas at the local supermarket.
* People who think council junk collection’s are year-round.
* People who leave Christmas lights on their house all year.
* Those stupid reindeer antlers on cars.